Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
