I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dick very happy bro
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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