The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
