operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize