One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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