No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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