dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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