dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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