even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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