You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
