I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
