Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
