if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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