Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is it penis luge time yet?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize