I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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