Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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