this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
