operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize