She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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