i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my shit smells like andre
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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