I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
