i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
