we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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