i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
How external is "for external use only"?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
