Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
