just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
