Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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