I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize