I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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