dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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