Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
