Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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