What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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