is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
