toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
