Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
