So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
