There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize