I want to make a zoo with you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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