I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize