if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
