Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
