she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It was confusing and full of hummus
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
