i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
