he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize