So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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