Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I lost the right to judge tonight
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
