do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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