i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
