Non-Jews are for practice
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
