his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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