I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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