WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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