she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
