we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
