I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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