I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
