when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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