finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
