i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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