worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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