So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize