I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
