there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
